8/30/21 Tell Your Problems How Big Your God Is

Chemotherapy is officially underway! My first round started last Monday! I was SO ready to begin! This cancer needs to GTFO of my body! 

Prior to chemotherapy, blood work is done to make sure your healthy. The great thing about a port is they can pull blood from it OR give you an infusion! The artery that the line is in goes straight to your heart! When they pulled the blood out, my blood was bubbling. What in the world!!?? Why is my blood bubbling!? Ends up… that was cholesterol! It was fat that was in my blood! It ended up all forming together and making a solid before they even could get the blood into the vials! Apparently, this is normal… and honestly there really wasn’t that much but my goodness- If I’m not worried about breast cancer… I’ll be worried about my heart health next! ♥️♥️♥️ 

The chemotherapy infusion was a breeze! Almost a bit relaxing! I sat there curled up with a big fluffy blanket and got some work done during the 4 hours I was getting infused! 

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1OwNT-yu55ZNTJN-Dk6rgtwNKCgV0uEm4

(Don’t mind the white lint all over me… it was from my fluffy blanket) 

The doctors advised me to stay as hydrated as possible. I ended up consuming about 80 ounces

Of water that Monday and probably another 64

On Tuesday. I hate plain water and typically opt

for carbonated water but I forced it down and I really think it helped. 

In terms of side effects, I had a bit of nausea but nothing too severe. I realized that if I kept something in my belly and stayed hydrated I felt much much better! On Thursday, I was pretty tired. I ended up taking a few hours off of work and took a good nap. I went to bed right after putting the kiddos to bed on Wednesday and Thursday but by Friday I was feeling much better! On Saturday, I felt like my normal self! Praise god! 

All in all- I did extraordinarily well with chemo round 1. My biggest issue ended up being myself. My anxiety about not being able to already feel my tumor go down in size, coupled with fear of the cancer not responding to treatment or coming back had me in a Google frenzy and mental spiral down a black hole.

I was in tears a lot of Thursday.. and my Google doctoring was not helping. JR pleaded with me to stay off the Google and made me promise to write down every question for Dr. Gupta instead of looking it up. So far, I’ve kept my promise. 

On Sunday, we had our usual routine… we had our coffee and turned on the TV to watch church! I’ll be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to the sermon… but JR did. I was outside picking crops and when I came in JR told me I needed to watch the sermon— that it was speaking directly to me. 

Boy was he right. First, my FAVORITE song was played and the sermon.. oh the sermon… it was god speaking right to me. Pastor Roger talked a lot about anxiety… about trusting in god. It was the message I needed to hear. He said: “Instead of telling god about all of your problems… start telling your problems how big God is.”  

How powerful is that?! Start telling your problems how big god is. Well, cancer- my god is stronger than you. He heals the hurt and gives strength to the weak.. and anxiety.. well Jesus will guard

My heart and my mind! (Philippians 4:6)

People might think it’s coincidence that the sermon Sunday was about anxiety.. or that my favorite song was played at the beginning. I don’t think so. That’s god talking straight to me… and I need to listen!

So.. here’s to round ✌🏼

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1fEMfo8TcI45vCBi23ayjyogXNCsH2dsV
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